Bittersweet Passover

I had to say goodbye to my beloved dog yesterday.

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We woke up Friday morning and saw that sometime overnight or that morning he got sick. I thought he ate poop or something in the yard and maybe he just had an upset belly.

He definitely wasn’t acting like himself and inside my heart I had that feeling I didn’t want to be true. My dog was dying and a day of loss I’ve been dreading ever since his seizures started about 6 years ago was upon us.

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When I took him up to emergency care on Saturday I was hopeful all he needed was some medicine and he’d be better soon. At the same time I was preparing myself for the possibility of having to make a heart breaking decision.

We were blessed to have a loving doctor evaluating and reporting on him. Our amazing friend Sandra met me up there since my husband stayed at home with our son. She was my angel and sacrificed her heart for me and our dear dog with her loving support. I’m so thankful for her.

Tests confirmed my buddy was in bad shape. He had a large tumor that was in his abdomen and bleeding. His belly looked and felt like a water balloon. When I heard his prognosis, I knew I had to give him peace. That was one of the most painful experiences I’ve had since my mom died.

I instantly fell in love with my Corgi. I remember the day I went to my friend’s home and picked him out. I named him Miggiddy. So many people thought his name was so funny and most times misspelled or didn’t know how to pronounce it. He was one of a kind!

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I remember how excited I was the day I went to pick him up and take him home. He was my rescue dog when my mom was going through her cancer journey. I justified spending $400 dollars on a pure bred even though I really couldn’t afford it at the time. He was my happy place.

He was a stinker of a puppy since he’s a herding breed. His little puppy teeth were so sharp and he’d nip my heels. Ouch! That hurt! He was the cutest puppy and oh those ears!

We were living in Colorado at that time and it was so funny to watch him scamper in the snow and I worried about him getting frost bite on his wee since he had those short baby chicken legs… but that dog was super fast on those little legs.

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He was about 4 years old when I found him having his first seizure. Watching him have those was agonizing. I always prayed he would never have to die having a seizure.

We put him on medicine, the lowest but still a therapeutic dose to control the seizures best we could. He still had breakthrough seizures but otherwise living a good quality life.

I had been planning and preparing for this weekend’s Passover, my first time celebrating this feast going by the Creator’s Biblical Calendar. I’ve been looking forward to it knowing Elohim is moving my heart in this sacred special walk with Them.

No way was I expecting things to go the way they did. I still can’t believe I had to let my sweet pup go. My heart feels so heavy and sad today. I want to remember and hope that Papa Yah will restore to me all that I’ve lost, and that includes my dear silly loving lil nub wagging guy Miggles.

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I pulled myself together and got busy with our Passover meal and made our matzah that was a first time for me too. Our meal felt like a surreal experience. We were grieving the loss of our pet and at the same time the Ruach Ha’Kodesh reminded me how Yahshua’s mother, family and friends were grieving seeing our Messiah dying on that cross this Passover day. He was our Passover Lamb. I’m grieving Him and reflecting on the significance of that and what was accomplished.

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Papa Yahovah knows grief. He had to watch His Son die.

That’s why Papa wants us to know His story and where we are in His story. Elohim wants us to remember the price that was paid to give us eternal life and hope in the Paradise that awaits us on the other side of Yahshua’s resurrection and restoration of all things!

Elohim is close to the broken-hearted and I believe we were in the presence of our King and Guest of Honor at our Passover Feast table.

I hope it brings glory to my Savior and King of my healing heart.

Shalom!

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